The Power of Bearing Witness

I have been seeing a patient, who I will call Ann, for 10 years.  She is a therapist who is a gentle and sensitive soul.  I can only imagine the gentle yet powerful space she is able to hold for her clients.  As she bears witness to the many facets of their lives, they have a powerful witness to their process.  They have her love, guidance, expertise and strong arms that hold them through their journeys. They are fortunate to have her in their lives.  With the space she holds they know they are not alone.

I saw Ann the other day when she needed me to bear witness to her process.  She had to hold space for a mother who had lost her daughter.  She was not sure what to say to this mother to help her pain.  It rattled her to her core.

As I sat with her and held space for her, all I could do is bear witness to her process. I told her that the most powerful gift she could give the grieving mother was her presence.  Bearing witness is a gift we can offer each other at any time.  In a world that is moving at warp speed, it is easy to forget that we matter.  Since we don’t live in communities like we once did that marked our passages and witnessed our lives, it is common to spend our milestones alone.  Once they pass, people get occupied again with their busyness and forget that we are in process.  When a person experiences a loss, the process through grief takes time.  It is important for them to be supported through its different stages.

Bearing witness is a sacred act.  It even changes the one who bears witness.  It deepens and fortifies one's soul.  It makes one trustworthy.

As a person’s grief transforms and shifts through its various stages, one gains access to the inner endurance that lives within.  The vacuum that is left in one's life is somehow filled with memories and a deeper level of wisdom.  This is an alchemical process.  The pain of loss never goes away, but it changes  form and also changes the greiver in profound ways. Without bearing witness, one could never experience the power of  Soul in process.

Many of us feel alone in our process.  This is not good for our health. We feel isolated. We may feel that our process is a burden on others.  Isolation is one of the most profound stressors on Earth.  Being witnessed, on the other hand, makes us feel like we matter.  Mattering is good for our health.  It makes our life worth living.

Mattering is a form of LOVE.

As a physician, I feel that bearing witness is the most sacred part of what I do each day.  Holding space and bearing witness to sometimes unbearable suffering deepens my heart and fortifies my soul.  It makes my patients feel that they matter, that their pain and suffering matters.  To be asked to bear witness for another is a profound honor.  Life presents us with so many ways to bear witness to each other every day. We must embrace these opportunities for loving.

Like Ann who will be changed forever by her witnessing, we must hold our strong arms around each other with open hearts. As Ann bears witness to a grieving mother, I bear witness to Ann.  Somehow, I feel that my arms are around her and this mother, all at the same time.  My heart is open to holding space for all of this.  For me it is a great honor and a blessing.

Making another feel like they matter also makes my life matter.  Isn't this ultimately what we are on Earth to experience? For me, this is one of the greatest forms of LOVE.

Are You a 'Sensitive' ?

They are termed 'sensitives' - people that feel to the depth that the 'norm' doesn't.  They tend to be pathologized by others for their depth of feeling and also tend to pathologize themselves for it as feeling deeply is not acceptable in our society.  They have difficulty being around crowds, injustice, violence, and loud sensory stimulation.  They feel the collective energy deep in their souls.  They are deeply empathic.  I am a sensitive.  Are you?
The title of the link claims that we are 'too' sensitive.  I disagree with this.  Our world is not sensitive enough.  Maybe that is why the state of the world is in chaos and disarray.  Maybe if more of us 'sensitives' set the tone for the world, it would be a more peaceful place where art and beauty are valued more than they presently are.

http://www.rebellesociety.com/2013/05/06/6-sweet-survival-tips-for-super-sensitive-souls/

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/02/ten-ways-to-find-out-if-you-are-too-sensitive/

The Hippocratic Oath is NOT Served by the Corporate Healthcare System

This is the oath physicians honor when they graduate from medical school.
This is the oath that I have served since I graduated 30 years ago, that I hold sacred and expect the healthcare system to also serve.
I also expect all hospital administrators to remember that this is the oath that they serve, not the policies that are based on power and greed.
Employed physicians are unable to serve patients from this oath when administrators that control them have an agenda that is not in alignment with the Hippocratic oath.

THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH (modern version)

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

—Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/02/who-will-heal-the-doctors/